How Do We Become Emotionally Stronger?

Often when looking to build our mental health we are looking to become stronger, more resilient (ie more capacity to bounce back after tough times), and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound … no genuinely … sometimes it would be nice to feel a bit better emotionally.

So how do we do this? … Well, we can do this through joy.

When we think about the “normal” psychological state of a human being it is just slightly more positive than reality (research suggests this strongly). So when we look in the mirror we are a little thinner than we actually are, our bank account is a bit bigger than what it’s really saying, our investments are always going up and our relationships are definitely all good and on track. When we add a habit of good eating and exercise to this we get a good mix of healthy fuel and endorphins (which naturally occur after exercise) and our mood goes up that few percent more.

When we have a break at work and we have a good laugh with a colleague about something in the news or some meme, it can lift our joy level again by a few percent.

When we get home after work and connect with some friends online, while gaming or have those young munchkins come running with arms open saying “Dad!!!! …” or “Mum!!…” Or have a nice snuggle with our significant other. These all add, again, a few more levels to our joy. It changes us a few more percent to the positive.

When we come out of a lockdown and it feels like the earth is waking up, when we get to do our favorite activity, sport, pastime, have lunch at our favorite cafe … joy again can lift a few more percent. These few more percent across time can add significantly to our emotional health and wellbeing.

I read a book recently on “Burnout” by Gordan Parker and he mentioned a client of his found their way out of burnout by finding “wonder” in their every day. The research strongly backs this up that joy and wonder, the silver lining in the middle of trauma and tragedy, gratitude and thankfulness in the heart of difficult times increase our strength. They enable us to go through the trauma and see the good in how it has transformed us … for the better.

So let’s put a smile on the dial and look into our futures with strength.

Hope this helps you.

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